I’ve touched on this topic before: be careful what you say to pregnant ladies! Recently, the missus has been getting a lot more “big” bump comments. Now, she isn’t soft, but it’s starting to take its toll on her. I would have never even thought about it before having a pregnant wife, and I now feel really bad for all of the women I have told they have a big bump. Oops!
The thing that I think gets to her the most is the idea that her body is now out of her control. My wife has always been able to lose weight when she wants, but right now with the baby, the scales are obviously going the other way – OBVIOUSLY there is a bun in the oven. Her diet is dictated in part by what she craves (don’t go against the cravings) and in part by what doesn’t make her feel rough. We eat healthily and rarely eat rubbish but with everyone telling her how “big” she looks, I think she is misinterpreting the compliments and she thinks she looks fat. Before having a pregnant wife however, I used to do it loads with pregnant friends…
Going on the scales obviously confirms she has put on weight, completing the vicious cycle of making her feel bad about her body. It’s frustrating because society often associates weight gain with an unhealthy lifestyle and breaking the stigma during pregnancy is really difficult.
As a dad –to-be and husband it is really hard to stop your partner feeling like this. I honestly think pregnancy really suits my wife and I love seeing her with a bump. She is properly beaming and apart form a small human shape in her tummy, her body is exactly the same as it was before. Persuading your missus this while they reminisce over honeymoon pictures isn’t easy though. Still, every day I remind her that she looks beautiful and that she looks amazing – she really does. At times (and I need to add that) my mumma-to-be just doesn’t feel that good in her body. It doesn’t help that on Instagram celebrities are posting pictures that completely skew the reality of pregnancy; but that’s what happens now.
My role of dad (also the person that has done all of this damage to my wife’s body) isn’t just to look after the baby when they arrive, but it is also to look after my wife – especially so while she is carrying the baby. So, do me a huge favour: next time you see a pregnant lady, talk about their bump euphemistically. Words like “growing” and “beautiful” have much more positive connotations than “massive” and “big”, especially when talking about peoples’ bodies. I’m not saying don’t comment on the size of someone’s bump at all…just be tentative!